Odds & sods.

Just coming off a bit of a writing marathon and still out of breath, figuratively speaking. It's my day to write the blog but I don't think I would even come within 10 feet of the laptop if I didn't have deadline-miss-o-phobia.  I suppose I could wait until later … but I don't think my urge to prepare a post will increase over the course of the day. Not this time.

To come up with a topic, let's dredge the shallow depths of my exhausted, barely-functioning mind.

I did think briefly about motherhood. I really do agree with the saying that when you give birth to your child you also give birth to your new self. Anyone who knows me would agree that I've come a long way over the past 11 years. The seeds of goodness were there covered in the dirt all along, but having a child really helped me grow into the best, most patient and compassionate person I can be. I still say the wrong things and I still have a ton of awkward and stressy moments in my life, but I like my new self far more than I ever liked the self I used to be.

As I ponder "what to write", another topic that comes to mind is that of the boy, Sammy Yatim, who was shot by police over the weekend on a Toronto streetcar. His face is imprinted on my memory. Sure, he was 18, but he looks like a boy to me. I guess there are parallels between this case and the Trayvon Martin case. Not the facts, no, just the feelings. Nobody likes to see a young person shot to death, whether armed with powerful punches or armed with a small knife. Not only does a young person represent a ton of potential for good in our society, but a young person is nearly always on the receiving end of massive quantities of mother's love. So when a young person's life is taken, you know that somewhere unseen a mother's heart has been broken.  

As I read about it in a Toronto paper, I noted that a relative was quoted as saying the teen was a good kid, but had started wearing his jeans slung low. According to the story, the boy's dad didn't like that look. Not having a teenage son myself, I have to ask if this is a chicken/egg thing. What comes first – is it the baggy-pant 'n bloomer costume or is it the trouble?

None of us wants to think so, and I certainly don't like the threat to freedom this question poses to both males and females of all ages. But I have to ask. Can certain clothing bring about unwanted consequences?

If we allow our children, our lambs, to dress in wolf's clothing … right or wrong, racism or not … it seems we are putting them in harm's way. Counting on the gun-toting shepherd down the road to recognize them for who they really are when they stray from safe pastures.

Hopefully it isn't a trend, but just like my dog can spot a mailman or UPS guy from a mile away – not by the face but by the uniform – I don't think it's a stretch to believe that wearing certain clothing can attract the wrong kind of attention.

Sure, brandishing a knife when there are a dozen police officers around is never a good idea. But when a barely-armed or unarmed teen is dressed from head to toe in a way that says "I'm a dangerous thug", the cops or Zimmermans of the world may react accordingly. When they perceive a threat – whether a punch in the face or a gesture with a small blade - they may take more rigorous steps to defend themselves. May end up taking the teen's life. So instead of growing up, that teenage boy ends up stretched out in a coffin wearing perfectly-creased dress pants for all of eternity. Never getting a chance to become the man he was meant to be.

I know after the Trayvon Martin shooting people of all ages and colours marched in the US for their right to wear hoodies without being shot. And they were right. Shooting someone for wearing dangerous-looking clothes is, obviously, wrong. But that doesn't mean it never happens. Once was too often. Twice? Well … it sure makes this mother think. And if I had a son… we'd sure be having a discussion about this tonight … as we take a stroll over to the local Gap store.